Category: Live Action

Predator: Badlands

Predator: Badlands didn’t feel like a Predator movie. Granted, it’s been more than a decade since I’ve seen a Predator movie. Actually, I can’t remember if I’ve seen a Predator movie. Was it Alien vs. Predator? Was it Alien? Was it something else entirely? Is there a Predator movie? O.o I remember nothing about what I’ve seen of Predator except that it should be scary or at least attempt to be so.

Watching Predator: Badlands was like what I imagine watching modern Star Wars is like. Given that I also have very little experience with modern Star Wars, I’m basing this opinion entirely on The Mandalorian & Grogu trailer I saw before Badlands started. About at the midpoint in the movie, Badlands introduces a cute mascot character. From that point forward, I felt like I was watching a ripoff of The Mandalorian & Grogu: a brooding protagonist, a comedic side kick, and a cute mascot having a space adventure.

Also, there’s a series of shots of the Predator and his side kick walking through fields and over mountains. After the first couple shots, I predicted the next shot would show the Predator walking along a mountain ridge. Lo and behold, the next shot was the Predator walking along a mountain ridge. Hell yeah! I’m watching a Lord of the Rings ripoff, too!

Overall, I don’t know what I watched or what I expected, but it seemed like something else with the Predator brand slapped on it.

Spring Baking Championship (Season 8)

Season 8 of Spring Baking Championship introduced two gimmicks, and both of them failed.

The first was the elimination of two bakers in episode one and the introduction of two new bakers in episode two. Typically, a season begins with twelve bakers and one is eliminated each episode until the season finale with the final 3-4 bakers. In this season, two bakers were eliminated in the first episode to make way for the addition of two more bakers in episode two. The new bakers, however, first had to compete against each other alongside the other bakers. Out of the two bakers, the one with the better dessert would continue competing. At the end of the episode, one of the new bakers and one of the original contestants were eliminated, bringing the contestant count down to the regularly scheduled ten. The second new baker, however, was eliminated in episode three, making the whole gimmick pointless.

The second gimmick was the unexpected introduction of a pre-final bake off. Until Season 11, season finales included two rounds. The first round eliminated one of the four finalists. In the second, the final three competed for winner of the season. In Season 11, the four finalists still competed in round one, but then, the bottom two were required to compete against each other in a bake off to join the top two in the final round. Unprepared for the sudden development and overwhelmed by the emotional toll of the previous round, however, one of the contestants simply quit, making the other the winner by default and the whole gimmick pointless.

The first gimmick never made another appearance. Despite its similar failure, however, the second would become the new finale format for all following seasons of Spring Baking Championship. No one has quit since, so it seems the contestants get a warning about it now.

Cake Wars: Christmas

For a season of Cake Wars contestants came in teams to compete against each other in creating the best Christmas-themed cakes across multiple rounds/episodes with the final round being a life-size gingerbread house.

This season of Christmas-themed challenges took out the best part of food-related shows (delicious-looking food) and left in the worst part of Cake Wars (cake decorating). I was mildly entertained by Cake Wars for the cake, man! The characters and things made with the food were often related to properties I didn’t care about and didn’t even look good. They may be edible, but they also aren’t appetizing: usually fondant, food coloring, and rice crispy treats and modeling chocolate that someone has rubbed their hands all over. That vanilla bean, buttercream frosting cake, however, tell me more about that.

Most of the cakes in Cake Wars: Christmas weren’t presented to the judges as food for tasting. The cakes themselves were judged purely on looks, but the judges also required and judged a separate tasting element (e.g. “Here’s cookies that we also baked.”). These tasting elements don’t even get that much emphasis. Most of the episode is dedicated to how impressive that firetruck-shaped, questionable-food on a platform screwed to a wall smeared in food coloring is.

I’m glad I skipped Cake Wars: Halloween because it would probably be the same but Halloween themed.

AKA Charlie Sheen

I was listening to this podcast “The Toxic Fuel That’s Destroying Your Motivation” when host Chris Williamson recommended AKA Charlie Sheen to Healthy Gamer’s Dr. K. The discussion had veered onto the topic of how some people get stuck in bad habits because they don’t experience the consequences. Chris said Charlie Sheen was a prime example of this and recommended the documentary as evidence.

It sounded interesting, and I have Netflix, so I figured, why not? Indeed it was a documentary about how Charlie was repeatedly rewarded handsomely for bad behavior. When he arrived to the set of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off late, the director didn’t mind, and he was later praised by audiences for the two scenes he was in and began his ascension into fame. He attempted to leave Two and a Half Men to get off drugs but was paid a ridiculous salary to stay. When he became such a crack head that he was fired, he became even more famous.

I’ve heard the name Charlie Sheen throughout my life, but it occurred to me as I was watching this documentary that I couldn’t think of anything I’d watched that had Charlie Sheen in it. Upon looking through IMDB, the two movies of his that I remember watching are Foodfight! and Scary Movie 3. Truly the height of cinema.

Is he just famous for being a drug addict? Even my favorite moment from Scary Movie 3 is more funny as I remember it (“Bring me that railroad tie… my balls… Jesus. Not that!”) than it actually is.

Also, that guy from Grace and Frankie is his dad? I guess that shows how much I pay attention to celebrities.

Spring Baking Championship vs. Cake Wars

Spring Baking Championship has more dignity than Cake Wars. That I recall, Spring Baking Championship only tried to sell me A Minecraft Movie. Cake Wars tries to sell me something every episode.

Also, Cake Wars judges are jerks. They will always find something wrong, even a nitpick, and it will be highlighted as a major flaw. Perhaps their criticisms are emphasized to create more tension. “Everyone’s cake has flaws! Who will win?” But it also creates the impression that everyone’s cake sucks every episode. The bakers are making a cake for a big party to celebrate some major property (Trolls, Sesame Street, Kung Fu Panda, etc.), so in the end, the property, which probably sponsored a portion of the episode, wins the cake that sucked the least. Congratulations!

For a segment of each episode, the judges will also visit the bakers while they’re making their cakes to give them some feedback. Most of the time the theme of their feedback is, “This is a terrible idea. You will fail.” There’s rarely any helpful suggestions or other constructive feedback, and the segment seems to exist solely to make the bakers doubt themselves. It’s like watching my worst nightmare every episode: someone looking at my work when I’m halfway done with it and saying, “Well, that’s stupid.”

In contrast, Spring Baking Championship‘s approach to mid-baking segments is much more constructive with the judges or host giving the bakers tips, suggestions, optimism, and curiosity. During the actual judging, the judges will also say the dessert is perfect if they think it is perfect. So yes, Spring Baking Championship has more dignity and respect for the human spirit.