I thought the Milano Cortina 2026 Olympics was doomed to be disappointing in comparison to the previous three Olympics. No one would try to win an event by doing a butt spin as they had in the Paris 2024 Summer Olympics’ Break Dancing debut. Italy also didn’t have to clean the Seine River of over a century’s worth of hazardous waste nor would its opening ceremony feature said river and dozens of boats carrying the Olympians. It didn’t have to shut down power plants to make the air breathable as China did for the Beijing 2022 Winter Olympics nor was it postponed for a year due to COVID-19 as the Tokyo 2020 Summer Olympics had.
Someone of Raygun’s experience and skill also wouldn’t make an appearance. Summer Olympics 2028 will be sad without Break Dancing.
I was also disappointed to find that the Hulu PS5 app still sucks. It’s been two years at least, Hulu! The PC app also sucks but not as much. The phone app is just okay. Maybe one of these Olympics I’ll use something other than Hulu + TV, or I’ll use the Hulu app on my TV, which I would hope actually works.
The Milano Cortina Olympics did remind me of the Turin 2006 Winter Olympics though, which gave me reason to hope. I was excited for the Turin, Italy Olympics because one of my favorite bands Bloom 06 (2/3rds of Eiffel 65) had created the official theme for that year. I was expecting to see them at the opening or closing ceremonies, but I don’t even remember hearing the theme anywhere. Considering they hadn’t made any music since 2009, I doubted I’d see or hear Bloom 06 during the 2026 Olympics. “But maybe Gabry Ponte (the other 1/3 of Eiffel 65)?” I dared to hope during the whole opening ceremony. Nope. There was a lot of electronic music though.
Lindsey Vonn, a favorite for alpine skiing despite an ACL injury, fell down and broke her leg within 15 seconds.
The winner of Men’s Giant Slalom took his time taking off all his shirts before screaming and flexing at the crowd.
The 90s theme for the Rhythm Dance was pretty great. Still no Eiffel 65 though.
The winner of the Men’s Slopestyle beefed it on what was supposed to be his victory run. The NBC commentator’s reaction encapsulated this moment well, “Dude, what are you doing?”
The NBC commentators look so ridiculous standing and sitting an awkwardly far distance apart while talking to one another in front of a screen.
Every time Picabo Street appears as an NBC commentator, it reminds me of that Front Page Sports: Ski Racing video game from the 90s. It played audio of her breaking her leg whenever you failed to ski down the course.
Snoop Dog looks so old.
Women’s Half Pipe NBC commentators: “That’s the first time anyone has landed the double cork 1080!”
Judges: “Eh. I guess that’s like an 88.”
After all the hype, Ilia Malinin got 8th in the Men’s Free Skate. The guy from Kazakhstan deserved the gold though. He did a good job.
Interesting. The most efficient way to team pursuit skate is to stay in one order for the whole race and physically push the leaders from behind.
During the Women’s Giant Slalom, three skiers tied for first place at one point on Run 1. On Run 2, two women tied for 2nd place.
Poor George Savaricas. I took to laughing at him every time he appeared as an NBC commentator just because he swallowed loudly mid-sentence once.
I agree with the NBC commentators: the Women’s Snowboarding Slopestyle judging was bizarre. The woman who won seemed like she was out-boarded by several others.
The debut sport for Milano Cortina 2026 was Ski Mountaineering. It involves cross-country skiing uphill with sticky skins on the underside of the skis, removing the skis and running up stairs, removing the sticky skins from the skis and downhill skiing, and replacing the sticky skins to cross-country ski uphill again. It reminds me of that bizarre event in summer Olympics with horse riding, fencing, swimming, shooting, and running.
One of the Women’s Free Skate competitors had a Stranger Things-themed skate. The music included an audio clip of Vecna saying, “You’ve already lost,” a brutal reminder considering she’d already fallen down. Meanwhile, Amber Glenn, the American favorite, went from 13th to 5th place between the Short Program and the Free Skate. Good for her.
Women’s Halfpipe Skier: *flails down the half pipe*
Judges: “I guess that’s like an 80.”
The figure skating gala was fun. The skaters may not have spun on their butts, but they did the macarena and YMCA. Another group dressed as Kung Fu Panda, Deadpool, and Mortal Combat characters. The panda even succeeded in doing a triple spin.
Gabry Ponte appeared for two minutes during the Closing Ceremonies! It’s 20 years later, but I finally got to see part of Eiffel 65 at an Olympics in Italy! Yes! Best two minutes of the 2026 Olympics!