Tag: harry potter and the deathly hallows

Harry Potter (Full-Cast Editions)

Audible had been continuously hawking the Harry Potter full-cast editions at me. I didn’t know what else to spend my credits on. Plus, I’d just listened to the AI-generated slop audiobook True Crime Stories You Won’t Believe: Omnibus Edition and needed to cancel it out with some decent narration. So I decided to give them a try.

They were so good! They’re like listening to unabridged Harry Potter movies with a music score and sound effects. Lines are delivered with perfect comedic timing and dramatic flair. Usually, full-cast audiobooks are more like radio plays where there’s no narrator, only character dialogue and sound effects, which sometimes gets confusing. These audiobooks, however, have a narrator. Everything in the books is in the audiobooks.

I’m of Kiera Knightly’s opinion that I don’t care what J.K. Rowling has said. How cool is it that seven 8- to 26-hour-long, full-cast, fully narrated audiobooks exist? Such things could only exist if someone has a lot of money and a large fanbase to support it.

The only parts of these audiobooks that lost me were the fight scenes. These tended to be heavy on action music and sound effects, sometimes threatening to drown out the narrator. Even without that, I lost track of what was happening. I don’t think my getting lost is specific to these audiobooks though. It’s often a problem I have with audiobooks in general. The problem was more pronounced when it happened with these books though because the rest of these books were so good.

Additionally, sometimes it sounded like one or two of the actors in a scene got the shitty microphone. They sounded inappropriately muffled or distant in comparison to everyone else. This happened most often in the first two or three books, however, where I was listening to them with one earpiece. For most of the rest of the books, I used two earpieces and didn’t notice the same problem. Perhaps it was an issue with the audio balance or my phone failing to recognize that I was only using one earpiece.

Besides those two minor issues, these books were great! So good! Below are some thoughts I had on each specific book.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

I wonder if the opening scene from Mr. Dursley’s perspective was added to this edition. Or the moment where all the houses sung a song in the Hogwarts’ great hall.

*looks it up in a physical copy of the book* Oh, they exist! The houses singing a song was pretty awkward, so it makes sense it was in the full-cast edition because it was in the book.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

I didn’t catch anything strange going on with Ginny except for in one scene. Listening to it a second time, I caught the hints better though. Maybe it was easier to read the hints in the first book because I remembered Professor Quirrell was the culprit.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Here are a couple quotes (perhaps paraphrased) that I thought were hilarious and well delivered:

“There is no Harry Potter here! Never call this number again! Stay away from my family!”

“Do something about your hair!”

I don’t remember Harry’s father being an Animagus. Then again, I also don’t remember Crookshanks.

The explanation for Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew seemed convoluted like the characters were saying the same thing in different ways repeatedly. I wonder how different the movie was from the book, specifically how many things it changed to make explaining Sirius concise.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

All the characters’ voices dropped at the same time, even Colin Creevy who isn’t even in Harry’s grade.

Hedwig looked EXTREMELY offended. A lot of people are extremely something in fact.

Harry doesn’t solve how to open the egg or how to swim underwater for an hour on his own. In fact, he has the answer spelled out for him or given to him. *continues listening* Oh, that was intentional!

Harry Potter’s voice actor can’t scream in pain to save his life.

Dumbledore mentions the room of requirement. Teasers for the Order of the Phoenix!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

I remember Order of the Phoenix being my least favorite in the series to read, but for whatever reason, it’s my favorite of the full cast editions. The understandability of the ending fell apart a little, but otherwise, I loved this rendition and immediately wanted to listen to the whole thing again. Maybe it’s the level of misery Harry is subjected to. He may not be able to scream in pain, but Harry’s voice actor can play the hell out of an angsty teenager.

I wonder if there were hints in previous books that Aunt Petunia cares more about the wizarding world than she claims.

What qualifies someone to be a prefect or a best boy or best girl? Are they just Professor Dumbledor’s arbitrary favorites?

Kiera Knightly played Dolores Umbridge? I didn’t recognize her!

“Wotcher” means “What are you up to?” or “What cheer?”

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

I think Harry’s theories are wrong in every book except this one. In this one, he’s right about everything… about Snape and Malfoy at least.

Did Harry always have a relationship with Ginny in this book? *looks it up in a physical copy* He did! I always recall his marriage to Ginny coming out of left field, but reading this book again, it’s fitting. It’s probably just the movies where it doesn’t make sense.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

For how much Harry likes Quidditch, he never gets to play it for a full school year. In book 1, he was hospitalized after fighting Voldemort. In book 2, Quidditch was canceled because the monster from the Chamber of Secrets had petrified so many people that the school was locked down. In book 3, Harry was harassed into unconsciousness by dementors (although I think he actually did finish the season). In book 4, Quidditch was canceled to make way for the Triwizard Tournament. In book 5, Professor Umbridge bans Harry. In book 6, he gets detention for cursing Malfoy and misses the last Quidditch game. And in book 7, he doesn’t go to school. That sucks.

I imagine Harry’s voice actor had fun impersonating other characters for The Seven Harry’s chapter. The actors probably had fun impersonating main characters throughout the book actually.

Killing Fred, Tonks, and Lupin? That’s brutal.

There’s always a scene toward the end of a Harry Potter book where everything is explained. It seems like a comfort provided to the reader that everything will always make sense in the end. I’m sure people who get pissed off by explanatory scenes would be pissed off about it though.

Harry’s parents died in 1981, which means Harry was born in 1980… 80s nostalgia strikes again!!!

Hermione, Harry, and Ron’s voices dropped again as adults. Weird. Why would the audiobook creators decide to do that?

Stranger Things (Season 5)

I remember thinking when I watched Season 4 of Stranger Things in 2022, “Oof. They should have stopped there.” If they had increased the pace a little and been more definitive with the ending, they could have done it, and it would have felt complete. Instead, an interdimensional rift split open Hawkins to create a cliff hanger to a final season that somehow the creators were going to fill with stuff, despite the series feeling like it should have ended.

When Season 5 finally came out, I started by rewatching all previous seasons, as I did whenever a new season was released. I started late though and then ended up spoiling myself by watching a couple of my go-to commentators complain about how bad Season 5, and one episode in particular, was before I had even started watching the season. Still, when Red Letter Media and Sydney Watson had the same reaction for the exact opposite reasons (RLM leaned toward the season being pointless, action-packed nonsense while Sydney Watson leaned toward the season being pointless, mundane nonsense), there was still some hope to form my own opinion.

The first episode is a bizarre mix of 80s nostalgia and stopping Vecna. Despite the rift splitting Hawkins and its military occupation, the characters pretend to have a normal year in high school. Somehow, I made a connection to the final Harry Potter book. Unlike episode one of Stranger Things 5, which attempts to be another year in high school in the 80s and also defeating Vecna, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows wasn’t about another magical year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and also defeating Voldemort. Too much had changed by the end of the previous book. Too much has also changed by the end of Stranger Things 4. Stranger Things 5 does quickly abandon the pretense of normalcy, but that means it also abandons what made the show charming: 80s nostalgia combined with a science fiction, fantasy adventure. Season 5 can’t have such charm because the right-side up is so devoid of 80s normalcy. Nobody is nostalgic about military occupation or making plans to infiltrate the upside down in a bunker. In contrast, Harry Potter never loses its charm despite the drastic change of pace in the final book because its charm is magic in general, not tied so strictly to Hogwarts.

Will’s sudden super power to defeat Vecna kind of works and kind of doesn’t. Unlike One, El, or any of the children raised in isolation in Hawkins Lab, Will didn’t have to do anything to attain or unlock his powers. He didn’t even have to come out as gay. So, his abilities appear to manifest from nowhere and also belittle El’s experiences. It also kind of works. Vecna made his first official appearance in Season 4, and Will was nowhere near Vecna or his minions for the entire season. His abilities could have always been dormant, and Will has had a fair amount of suffering. For how much Will suffers from his experiences in the upside down in the first two seasons in particular, he never has a moment of power over the monsters that tormented him. From this perspective, it feels fitting for him to develop super powers. This could have been done more cleverly though rather than simply turning him into a second El or One. For example, he could have been given a second opportunity to spy on Vecna or the Mindflayer except this time, he’s the one in control and feeding crucial information to El and the others.

All I can think when I see El in that wetsuit with the triangle cut out of the neck is, “What a stupid costume.”

Nancy has killed monsters before, but she’s also perfectly fine with killing people? When did this happen?

The final episode reminded me of Inheritance by Christopher Paolini, the final book in the four-part Inheritance series. I know this show is supposed to invoke 80s nostalgia, but for some reason, my thoughts kept going to books that I read in the mid-2000s. Anyway, Inheritance had something like 120 pages of pure epilogue. In a similar vein, almost half of the two-hour finale of Stranger Things is epilogue. After Vecna and the Mindflayer appeared defeated, I was shocked that there was still an hour of the episode remaining. I remained shocked when El said goodbye to Mike and disappeared, and there was still 50 minutes left.

While getting to those last fifty minutes was as full of filler as I feared it would be four years ago, however, it felt fitting for all the characters and brought back the 80s charm that made the series great. I’ve never seen the end of Game of Thrones, but I doubt this was comparable or worse, especially (tying this back to books) when the book series Game of Thrones is based on will never have an ending at all.